It's true though. You will not often find me on the floor, pushing cars along the car mat or outside climbing trees, or squished onto a tiny table drinking pretend tea. I find it uncomfortable and awkward and...yes...boring. I've tried to do it anyway because I was under the impression that that's what good parents do. Kids are smarter than we give them credit though. They totally saw through it and haven't really invited me to play with them since!
I felt bad about it for a long time. I assumed that that is how one connects with their children. Playing with kids is a great way to connect with them but it is not the only way. Thank goodness.
Home schooling was the perfect solution for me. Doing lessons together creates opportunities for us to really connect as we talk about what we're learning, find answers to questions together, work on solutions, play games, read books, etc.
We've been on summer break for a few weeks now and that time of connection has been lost to hours spent outside (them playing, me reading). Summer is the perfect time to play all day long and that's what I planned for the kids. But this week it struck me that I haven't really connected with my kids since we stopped schooling. I am amazed at how I can be with them all day, everyday and yet, never really be with them, if that makes sense. Physically, we are close but that's about it. We have our moments, of course. But I like more than just a few minutes here and there. I like to be very intentional about taking the time to be emotionally present with my children. Since our summer was supposed to be about free play, I tried to join in. I stink at playing though. I know it and they know it. It's just awkward.
So we're trying something new now. I blocked off a chunk of the morning for activity time that we all do together. Things that we all enjoy. I think an important part of really connecting with your kids is to do something you will both like doing. If you're spending the entire time trying to fake enthusiasm (or wondering when this eternal game of pirates will end...), you don't leave much head space for anything else.
So we will bake, paint, draw, craft, hike, swim and probably bake some more. Have I ever mentioned that I really love cake?
I know that in these activities, we will find lots to talk about. I know that they appreciate every minute that I intentionally set apart for them. And I do too. Because even though we've been living all together...I've really missed them these past few weeks!
I'll leave the playing to daddy. He enjoys crawling on the ground like a dragon and taking them on magic carpet rides. Probably because he's just a really tall child. :)
What do you do to connect with your children?
