What if I mess up? I don't want my kids to suffer for my inadequacies. I don't just want them to learn, I want them to love learning, to be curious and excited about the world around them. I just don't know if I can teach that.
I was reminded this morning of Jeremiah 29:11, a verse that usually gives me such comfort:
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
If I'm completely honest, today it just leaves me annoyed. Sure, He knows the plans He has for me. However, I know nothing. I have trouble figuring out what it is that God is saying to me on my best days. There is nothing in the Bible that says "Kalista, thou shalt homeschool."
So I'm praying for guidance to know where God is leading us, for wisom to know how to do it all, for peace with the decision, for the to courage to obey. And I'm digging into the Word, hoping that truth will be revealed.
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God (Philippians 4:6)
My brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of any kind, consider it nothing but joy, because you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance; and let endurance have its full effect, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking nothing. If any of you is lacking in wisdom, ask God, who gives to all generously and ungrudgingly, and it will be given you. But ask in faith, never doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave in the sea, driven and tossed by the wind. (James 1:2-6)
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ReplyDeleteAw I found this post really heartwarming because my mother home-schooled me and my two siblings, and in the beginning she was asking the very same questions you are now! I know God will give you the guidance you are asking for, but I can also tell you that it seems like your heart is totally in the right place and I'm sure you would make an amazing teacher for your children! :)
ReplyDeleteI am visiting you through the Friday Blog Hop from Mama to 4 blessings, and I follow you on GFC :)
I really love your blog, I'll be visiting frequently and hope you can take the time to check out my blog sometime, too! :)
@ www.magicallifeofmamas.blogspot.com
Xoxo,
Sarah Kay
Hi Kalista. Came across your blog through the Friday blog hop. I hope I can encourage you that none of us homeschool moms are truly adequate to teach our kids all we hope for them. It's a learning, growing, day by day in God's grace kind of thing. Just like the rest of life. I know it's not always a simple choice, but keep seeking Him in His Word and He will show you if it is His plan and His timing. My sister was in a similar place when her oldest began kindergarten. She wanted to homeschool but she also had 3 other preschoolers. She said "some days I can't even manage to take a shower, much less educate my children." :) She started homeschooling when he went into 4th grade. Just take it one day at a time and remember that your choices for today don't have to be forever, and they don't have to be the same as anyone else. But if you know that homeschool is God's plan for your family, be assured that He is able to equip you for the task! I pray that He will give you clarity and reassurance. God bless, and glad to "meet" you here in blogville. :) Hugs~ S
ReplyDeleteI'm a new follower from the Friendly Friday blog hop! Looking forward to reading more of your blog :) I would love it if you would visit The Blessed Couponer (http://theblessedcouponer.com) and follow back :)
ReplyDeleteAlso, I too homeschooled my daughter when she was in high school ... grades 9 - 12. She has since graduated and doing great. I too had doubts of my abilities but it all worked out fine with God's help and a lot of prayer! Best wishes!
Your kids are so cute! I'm not a homeschooler but I have three kids and I find it fascinating to read how Moms like you teach at home. Great post!
ReplyDeleteI stopped by for Friendly Friday and followed you on Google Friend Connect, hope you'll stop by and follow back!
table4five.net
Hi Kalista:
ReplyDeleteThis is my first Friday Blog Hop and I'm so glad I "hopped" to your blog. My husband and I have been chatting recently about the type of parents we'd like be (we haven't been blessed with children yet) and I must admit I have been thinking about whether or not I could homeschool a lot lately. I'm intelligent but not known for my patience. Your post touched my heart, and the fact that you care enough to question your adequacy tells me your probably the best person to educate your children. Pray for discernment and follow Gods prompting, your children will be blessed whatever the outcome. Have a great day!
I wonder the same thing so very often! My oldest is not quite 4, so we've got almost 2 years before he would officially begin public school.
ReplyDeleteMy heart tugs me to homeschool these little three blessings from the Lord, yet I do sometimes wonder if it's really what we're meant to do...or if I just selfishly want to keep my kids close at hand.
I'm praying for God to make it clear to us what He wants for our family. As I pray, I'll be asking God for wisdom & guidance for you and other families in similar situations :)
Dawn